Post by Josh on Mar 28, 2006 23:35:28 GMT -5
Starting Conversations With Women -
by Sebastian Steele
Okay, I’m going to share the formula that I use when deciding what to say to women. It's fairly simple once you get the hang of it... so bear with me.
Here’s how it works.
Let’s talk about psychology. Let’s say you spot someone that you want to talk to, and you’re not sure what to say. Well, there are a couple things that we need to think about first.
Number 1 — the person that you want to meet is probably thinking about what’s going on in their life. Maybe they are thinking about something that happened at their job, or at home.
Maybe they had a fight with their ex boyfriend, or maybe they had a wonderful day and they are just out to relax. Now of course, it depends on the context, but you have to realize that there’s a pretty good chance that the other person is not standing there just WAITING for you to start a conversation with them.
So when you start talking to them, it might be taken as a welcome surprise, or an intrusion.
Now am I trying to discourage you from starting a conversation? Of course not. What I am saying is that before you start the conversation, it’s a good idea to realize that the other person can have a million things going on in their mind, and you need to make sure that your opening statement contains some aspects of the following formula.
#1 — It should be relevant to the situation your in. If you see something interesting about that person, and you want to comment on it, then that’s relevant. If you make a casual remark about the weather, then that’s relevant. You might talk about the long lines, or whatever. Just make sure that it’s relevant, and …..
#2 — easy to agree with. Make sure your statement is easy to agree with. Yes, it IS hot outside. Yes, I am wearing a beautiful sweater. Etc.
#3 — it should answer the silent question “why are you talking to me”.
Okay this is a biggie. Even though the other person might not be asking themselves yet “why are they talking to me”, most people want to know that your intentions are good.
If you live in a city, then you’re probably familiar with people who will walk up to you and ask you for money, donations, a sip of your drink, or they might even try and talk you into joining some business of theirs. My point is, often times, people (especially women) get approached by people who WANT something from them.
Maybe it’s their money, or their attention, or their phone number. So, your opening statement should tell the other person what you want from them. Why? Well look… if you don’t get your foot in the door first, then you sure as hell aren’t going to get all the way up to her bedroom. In an average scenario on the streets, a woman will be guarded against talking to you until she feels safe, and knows that you aren’t trying to “get” something from her.
Now let’s take some of my previous opening statements and look at them.
“Hey, you have a beautiful tan. What salon do you go to?” — Now do you see how this statement has 3 elements? It’s complimentary — I complimented her tan.
It’s relevant to the situation. I’m asking about something that’s going on right now.
And it let’s her know what I want from her, and that it’s safe to talk to me. I did that by asking her a specific question about the thing that I complimented.
Now what person WOULDN’T answer a question like that?
It’s a great way to get the conversation started. Now the other person may or may not be receptive to talking to you right now, but if they are, then you will improve your chances of getting a conversation started by 1000%.
You have a MUCH better chance of talking to the hot girl than if you just delivered a “line” like…. Hey, you’re pretty. What’s your name?”. Or, “wow, you’re cute… do you come here often”.
Some dating books even have the nerve to say that all you have to do is say “hi”. Well nooooo, it doesn’t really work that way. “Hi” is great, when you combine it with an opening statement that uses the formula that I talked about, but “Hi”, by itself, sucks.
by Sebastian Steele
Okay, I’m going to share the formula that I use when deciding what to say to women. It's fairly simple once you get the hang of it... so bear with me.
Here’s how it works.
Let’s talk about psychology. Let’s say you spot someone that you want to talk to, and you’re not sure what to say. Well, there are a couple things that we need to think about first.
Number 1 — the person that you want to meet is probably thinking about what’s going on in their life. Maybe they are thinking about something that happened at their job, or at home.
Maybe they had a fight with their ex boyfriend, or maybe they had a wonderful day and they are just out to relax. Now of course, it depends on the context, but you have to realize that there’s a pretty good chance that the other person is not standing there just WAITING for you to start a conversation with them.
So when you start talking to them, it might be taken as a welcome surprise, or an intrusion.
Now am I trying to discourage you from starting a conversation? Of course not. What I am saying is that before you start the conversation, it’s a good idea to realize that the other person can have a million things going on in their mind, and you need to make sure that your opening statement contains some aspects of the following formula.
#1 — It should be relevant to the situation your in. If you see something interesting about that person, and you want to comment on it, then that’s relevant. If you make a casual remark about the weather, then that’s relevant. You might talk about the long lines, or whatever. Just make sure that it’s relevant, and …..
#2 — easy to agree with. Make sure your statement is easy to agree with. Yes, it IS hot outside. Yes, I am wearing a beautiful sweater. Etc.
#3 — it should answer the silent question “why are you talking to me”.
Okay this is a biggie. Even though the other person might not be asking themselves yet “why are they talking to me”, most people want to know that your intentions are good.
If you live in a city, then you’re probably familiar with people who will walk up to you and ask you for money, donations, a sip of your drink, or they might even try and talk you into joining some business of theirs. My point is, often times, people (especially women) get approached by people who WANT something from them.
Maybe it’s their money, or their attention, or their phone number. So, your opening statement should tell the other person what you want from them. Why? Well look… if you don’t get your foot in the door first, then you sure as hell aren’t going to get all the way up to her bedroom. In an average scenario on the streets, a woman will be guarded against talking to you until she feels safe, and knows that you aren’t trying to “get” something from her.
Now let’s take some of my previous opening statements and look at them.
“Hey, you have a beautiful tan. What salon do you go to?” — Now do you see how this statement has 3 elements? It’s complimentary — I complimented her tan.
It’s relevant to the situation. I’m asking about something that’s going on right now.
And it let’s her know what I want from her, and that it’s safe to talk to me. I did that by asking her a specific question about the thing that I complimented.
Now what person WOULDN’T answer a question like that?
It’s a great way to get the conversation started. Now the other person may or may not be receptive to talking to you right now, but if they are, then you will improve your chances of getting a conversation started by 1000%.
You have a MUCH better chance of talking to the hot girl than if you just delivered a “line” like…. Hey, you’re pretty. What’s your name?”. Or, “wow, you’re cute… do you come here often”.
Some dating books even have the nerve to say that all you have to do is say “hi”. Well nooooo, it doesn’t really work that way. “Hi” is great, when you combine it with an opening statement that uses the formula that I talked about, but “Hi”, by itself, sucks.